I’m currently holding a peanut container from a lesser-known brand. Here is the partially preposterous peanut packaging propaganda paragraph:

Scientific Evidence suggests but does not prove that eating 1.5 ounces per day of most nuts, as part of a diet low in saturated fat & cholesterol & not resulting in increased caloric intake may reduce the risk of coronary heart disease.

Sounds like the typical thing you find on typical food packaging. But let’s pick this apart.

Scientific Evidence

Who’s “Scientific Evidence”?

In other words, who claims this? A scientist? A group of scientists? Someone pretending to be a scientist? How many studies were there? When were they made? 3000 B.C.?

suggests but does not prove

Oh, so this whole statement might not be true. They’re just suggesting it as a possibility. So don’t take this whole thing seriously.

Well, we’ll just say there’s a 50% chance that this whole thing is correct.

that eating 1.5 ounces per day

Whoops, ate 1.6 ounces on Saturday… (note they don’t say “at least” 1.5 ounces)

of most nuts

So are peanuts included in that group? Are they using some non-peanut-related study to suggest that peanuts are healthy for you?

as part of a diet

Wow, so I have to watch my eating to get the supposed benefits of these nuts.

low in saturated fat & cholesterol

Then why do these peanuts have 2.5 grams of saturated fat per serving?

& not resulting in increased caloric intake

Fair enough. But still, this means I have to cut down on some other food, which many people are not likely to do.

may

Oh, so Scientific Evidence suggests that it may…

So let’s say that there’s a 25% chance now that this will help my heart health.

reduce the risk

So they’re only suggesting that this just might reduce (reduce, not prevent) your risk (not the chance that you’ll get it, only the risk that you might).

Decrease my risk by how much? 1%?

of coronary heart disease

Oh, just one type of heart disease. Hm.

So now that we’ve picked this apart, this isn’t looking so great. In the worst case scenario, there’s only a 25% chance (according to my rudimentary probability estimates) that, under these specific set of conditions, my risk for this certain type of heart disease might just be decreased by 1%.

This is just peanuts.

(Yes, pun intended.)